Notorious for the hottest temperatures on the planet, Bangkok is noted for troubling humidity from March through October.
Bangkok features the world’s biggest Chinatown, and one of the largest markets namely the Chatuchak Weekend Market. Sprinkled within the capital city’s boundaries are an estimated 40,000 temples including the Wat Traimit temple. Wat Traimit is home to a gigantic Buddha statue made of pure gold.
The local moniker Bangkok in native Thai language is 169 characters long, making it the longest city name anywhere. Officially, most Thai citizens use a truncation to refer to its capital as Krung Thep Maha Nakhon.
Alas, that truncation does not lend itself to as many funny ideas as the more suggestive name Bangkok. See for yourself in the following selections of jokes, puns and quotes for the globe’s most-visited city.
Top Bangkok Jokes
- Why is it a bad idea for Bangkok to host the Olympics? Because all events will end with Thais.
- Why did the couple go to Bangkok? They wanted to Thai the knot!
- What is the most embarrassing word to get while playing charades? Bangkok
- A reporter was on a business trip in Bangkok, when he struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar. After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get their own bottle and retire to his motel room, and she readily agreed. “Say, how old are you anyway,” the man asked, as the obviously-young lass was disrobing. “Thirteen” she replied with a shy smile. “THIRTEEN??? My God, Girl!!! You get those clothes back on at once and get outta here! Are you crazy?” he thundered. Pausing briefly at the door as she was leaving, the perplexed nymphet smiled and said, “Superstitious, huh?”
- Have you heard of the famous mountain climber from Bangkok? He was known as the Thai of the Eiger.
- Thai rescue divers were given tight trunks to wear so they could more smoothly maneuver through the narrow caves. It was so they wouldn’t Bangkok.
- What is the difference between the capital city of the United States and Thailand? In Washington DC you deal with mail fraud. In Bangkok you deal with male fraud.
- If two kids from Bangkok enter a race, who would win? Nobody, it’s a Thai.
- I met a woman in Bangkok, Thailand. But I couldn’t figure out her nationality. Turns out, she was Canadian.
- Trick or treat is commonly associated with Halloween. Then again, it could describe the potential outcome from taking an attractive Bangkok waitress back to your hotel room.
Top Bangkok Puns
- Bangkok surgeons always keep a pair of tweezers on them. You never know when you may need to operate on Thai knee joints.
- Can you name Bangkok’s twin city? Ding dong
- How do they wash laundry in Bangkok? They use Thai Pods.
- Did you hear about the ape that opened a tanning salon in Bangkok? He named it “A Range Of Tans.”
- Recently, I was in Bangkok with my wife. I suggested that we check out one of the many temples. She asked, “Wat Pho?” I answered, “Just to get a little culture.”
- What do hippies in Bangkok wear? Thai-dye
- Where do you find the best neck accessories? Tie-land
- In the streets of Bangkok, there were motorbikes with carts on the back for tourists to get around the city called tuk-tuks (pronounced “took-took”). When we were looking for a way to get across the city, my dad without fail would proudly say, “Let’s take-take a tuk-tuk!”
- How did the Bangkok Marathon end? It was a Thai.
- What’s the Apple store in Bangkok’s number one product? iPad thai
Top Bangkok Quotes
- ”Bangkok, like Las Vegas, sounds like a place where you make bad decisions.” ~ movie director Todd Phillips
- ”I’d love to visit Thailand just for the street food and the energy of a city like Bangkok.” ~ chef Bobby Flay
- ”Getting to places like Bangkok or Singapore was a hell of a sweat. But when you got there it was the back of beyond. It was just a series of small tin sheds.” ~ broadcaster David Attenborough
- ”Travel is very subjective. What one person loves, another loathes. I would say a private paradise in the Caribbean. If you want culture and class, I would say Tuscany. If you want exotic, I would say Bangkok, Thailand.” ~ actor Robin Leach
- “We haven’t truly had a zeitgeisty, ‘songs on the radio’ show, since…I want to say “One Night in Bangkok” was the last musical theatre song that charted. That was so long ago.” ~ dancer Nikka Graff Lanzarone